My boyfriend and I are celebrating the two year mark today. Its a milestone for me in a lot of ways. For starters, its a first for me. I've never had someone who was willing to put up with me and all my crap for this long on an almost daily basis (especially now that we live together). Nor have I found someone that is worth investing this much time and energy on. I'm 29, and while I didn't play the field as hard as others my age, I have my share of baggage from bad relationships, and while I have never rehashed them in all their terrible glory for him, sometimes those insecurities or lingering nervousnesses come out. And I have always explained to him why I might ask a question that I do, and not to take it personally. For instance, the guy I dated a couple years before him was a raging alocoholic. We were only together five months, but it was five months too long. By proxy, his problem caused me to temporarily lose friendships and myself. So sometimes when it seems like he's cracking a beer or two more than usual it sets my defenses up a bit. So I'll ask him if he's ok, and he is, and he knows why I ask.
And let me tell you something crazy: in two years, we've never had a fight. We get on each other's nerves sometimes, but we've never taken to screaming or throwing things, etc. I think our secret is neither one of us are much for drama. The gods know I've had my share of drama queen friends, and through watching them tear apart relationships, both romantic and plutonic ones, I just have no interest. It doesn't hurt anything that I'm massivly non-confrontational. I've been around long enough at this point to not let people walk over me anymore, but I still pick my battles. We can get very animated with each other, happy, mad, sad... but we haven't fought. And I'm glad for that. I know some might say that its boring, or we're not communicating or we don't really care, or whatever the thousands of reasons might be given, but its working for us, so I'll take it.
We try to be partners with everything. With me being out of work right now we've kind of fallen back into traditional roles, he's works, I take care of the house. I couldn't be more thankful for his support, because I left my last job. I didn't think it would take the temp ageny two and a half months to find me something. I would say I would have never left otherwise, but the assignment wasn't a very good match for me, so they probably would have fired me about two weeks later anyhow. I feel guilty that its been so long since I've been able to pitch in on the finances. Especially since we want to start looking into buying a house. What I'm even more grateful for is that his parents don't make me feel like a complete bum trying to mooch off of their son.
I've never been happier in my life. Of course I still have bad days, and I get sad, but there's a sense of underlying peace because I know I have someone who takes care of me, not just physically or financially, but emotionally, as well. He is about the farthest thing from romantic that can be, for example, once it got past midnight last night, I told him happy anniversary, and he apologized for not having anything planned. Let me just say that I would be lying if I said I wasn't hoping for a ring, (its getting to that point for me) so I was a little disappointed about that. But I don't plan on going anywhere, and I don't think he is either, so we've got plenty of time. Anyway, he may not be romantic, but he cares, and he's faithful, and he's honest, and he's basically anything I ever wanted. I went through a lot of shit to get here, so while I would never brag about what I've got, I am so grateful I have it.
There's a hundred other things I could say, but for the sake of not turning into some kind of sappy romance novel, I'll stop here. In so many ways the past two years have flown by, and in others I can't believe its only been two years. I feel like we should have known each other for a lot longer by now. I feel bad about not being able to do anything nice for him today, but I have a good dinner waiting on him to get home. At the same time, the prints I bought, then matted and framed are still sitting on the floor against the wall in more or less the same spots as when I gave them to him, so you know, in some teeny tiny way I don't feel bad. (The main reasons they're still on the floor is because he doesn't want to put too many holes in the walls here, he can't decide where to put them, and cause he's a little lazy once he gets home!) Its going to be a quiet, normal night for us here, but rest assured that in my heart and mind I am throwing the biggest party ever for our anniversary, at least until next year.